Finding my inner-happy

4 years… I beat the C.

On December 30th, 2016, I sat in my doctor’s office without knowing what to think. I had just spent the longest 8 months of my life, the period of time from the date of the first doctor’s appointment, when I found that weird bump on my neck, up to this date: the final check-up of the year. He knew I wasn’t someone to beat around the bush: I like my medical information clear and to the point. He was happy we had won: “You are cancer free”.

(Check out some previous posts for the whole story! 😉

Today, I sit here on the 2nd last day of the year and I realize it’s been 4 years since my cancer journey. While 2020 was a weird one for sure, it cannot be any weirder than 2016 for me. This year, I often reminded myself that if I had made different choices then, I might not have been here to experience a most interesting and intriguing year. But I am SO alive!!!!

I’m so full of gratitude.

The cancer experience woke me up to learn the art of taking care of myself.

It brought me the inspiration to introduce things into my life such as yoga and meditation, practices that have only grown into my lifestyle since.

It brought me to have my last drink of alcohol, ever, before the booze itself decided to take me out of the game (but that’s a story for another time!)

The year 2016 also taught me that being locked inside a “bank vault” while a radiation machine spins around you is really really weird and interesting, like being part of a sci-fi movie. It is not something I can truly explain.

Since that doctor’s appointment, 4 years ago, when the doctor spoke those words, I committed to myself that I would do what I can to better manage the stress and anxiety that I truly believe caused my cancer, and learn to love and appreciate myself, my body, my mind and all aspects of my life.

And do this all sober from alcohol, while healing from that as well.

Fast forward 4 years, I am happy I went to see the doctor back in 2016; I can even celebrate the diagnosis itself, as it brought more good into my life than it did bad. Everyone has a different experience and I got lucky – this post is not mean to be braggy, it’s meant to be inspiring that not all bad is bad. Some bad can turn into more good than you ever thought possible in life.

I love you all.

And best of all, cancer taught me to learn to love myself.

1 comment about 4 years… I beat the C.

  • The one constant through my cancers was my family and friends. I’ve leaned on them a lot in 2020. I sometimes feel low, but realize that I don’t want to waste my time feeling sorry for myself. Like the saying says, don’t worry about tomorrow – focus on today, because its the present.

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