Finding my inner-happy

Ode To A Life

Yesterday, my friend Jason passed way.

He fought a long and courageous battle with cancer, but the beast won. He had a good life with a great career and world’s most loving wife, whom he was crazy about. He was a great man, and I will miss him.

I’ve known him a long time, we worked together for years. We were never close friends, but we had worked together long enough that we developed a nice friendship over the years. He always lit up the room.

I hadn’t see him in a while, I’ll be honest.

The last time I saw him, we both had cancer.

We ran into each other at the cancer ward of our local hospital, while going through treatment. We hadn’t seen each other in months as he had been off work for treatment, but suddenly, here we both were.

Later, over the next few months, we chatted on Facebook about treatment, cancer and just sharing each other’s story. He had a few months of experience ahead of me and it really helped us both to talk. Even on his worse day, he believed things would get better. I found that inspiring. At the time, it was so hard for me to even process the fact that I had gotten cancer. The experience felt very surreal to me. Talking to him really helped.

Yesterday, he lost his battle with cancer. And I sit here, cancer-free. *knocks on wood*

That is the hardest part for me I think. Why was I spared?

Why was *I* able to get rid of the same monster that killed him? We didn’t have the same type of cancer, but we did have the same monster. I sit here today, overwhelmed with a mixture of grief and gratitude.

Jason, I never got a chance to thank you for our talks, so I thank you today.

The last time you messaged me, I forgot to answer. That bugs me, but I know you understood that life gets in the way when all of this is going on. We were both busy fighting each of our battles with the Big C.

Today, on this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks for Jason.

I give thanks for having had the chance to meet one of the nicest human beings I ever have known, a human who showed unmeasurable strength and resilience! (No one’s ever worked that hard for Hip tickets! ;))

Thanks for everything, and I hope you rest easy.

Today, on this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks to my own life.

Have you ever given thanks for just being alive?

That’s what I give thanks to today, more than anything. I sit here, bawling my eyes out while writing this text, overwhelmed with so much gratitude that I’m alive to even write it. Not everyone has that chance!

Life is short, my friends, and the end DOES come.

Take of yourself, treat yourself kindly and well, and learn to be actively grateful for the journey that you have been given. It’s a short life, and it’s important to live our moments as honestly and wholeheartedly as possible.

Today, on this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks to my friends and family.

Thanks for helping me fight a battle that I very well could have lost. Words can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for my little tribe, a group of humans who are greater than words could ever describe. I love you all.

And finally, today, on this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks to me.

To my strong and resilient body, I am sorry that I treated you so poorly for years and I thank you for still helping me fight the hardest battle, after all I put you through. You are a great body and I am grateful for you!!!

Today, I am alive and I am grateful.

But who am I to assume that I’ll be alive tomorrow? Not everyone is that lucky. It’s important to recognize that we are lucky for every single day that we get to wake up and LIVE. It’s something that we all forget sometimes.

Thank you, Jason, for reminding me to be grateful for today and each of my most precious days of life.

May you rest easy, my friend, and I’ll catch ya in the next life.

’til then, I’m off to go thank my mom for bringing me into this one.

Much love to all,

MarMar

 

 

 

 

to m

 

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