Finding my inner-happy

The January of Me

I see that I didn’t write much this year, if at all, in the little world I call this blog. While I get blogging ideas daily, I’m still held back by the fact that each day only has 24 hours and I keep finding ways to occupy every one of them.

That said, here I am.

This past month, I have discovered in myself more joy than I have in a long time. That’s where I was – finding joy, learning to love myself again. It takes a conscious effort to break the habit of putting everything else before your own self, and taking the time to bring a smile to your own face each day.

I found myself trying make-up for the first time in my life. While I have dabbled in mascara and eye shadow in the past, for an event here and there, I have probably worn makeup as many times in the last month as I have in the last 10 years. I’m having fun with it. I’m feeling princess-y.

It’s not about hiding anything, it’s just about enhancing the goods! ha!

And what its done for me? I feel pretty.

I look at myself and smile, show myself love. With a history of not giving myself enough credit, or creating self-esteem by mixing with liquor, I find myself almost 4 years sober and finally loving myself and what I see.

Truly.

I got a few new sweaters that make me feel beautiful, and got rid of clothing that made me feel frumpy or like I had given up, as I had many items that did so. I started wearing jewelry again, as I enjoy feeling shiny and glittery, within limits of course. I even find that I walk straighter thanks to it all.

The result: more confidence, more joy, and a smile on my face.

I spent the better part of my adult life chasing at a smile by going to parties and here I am, almost 40, and I’m the happiest I have been… yet. And know I’m not saying this to brag or seem like I found answers some might not have, I’m just saying that there’s hope. Listen to your body and what it needs to feel healthiest and happiest, and find what makes you feel like a princess or a prince, and do that. There’s joy at the end of that road! 🙂

More stories of joy coming soon.

And maybe poetry. 😉

Much love,

Marion

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