Finding my inner-happy

New Year Self Love

Like all good bloggers, I should do the mandatory new year’s post. HAHA! But I will not speak about resolutions, I will speak of new habits.

The newest habit I am working on now is self-care and self-love.

I always read about self-care and self-love and think “oh yeah, I take good care of myself”. But I really don’t, or haven’t done so as much as I could.

Or should.

Self-love has always been something I struggled with. While I realize that others love me just fine, I never really loved me. I knew I was a nice person, I did good things, I loved my family and friends, but I never really took the time to get to love myself. I never once fell in love with my own self. Some say that’s actually the secret to true happiness so this is the year I try…

… or do, rather.

After years of addiction and health struggles, I am finally at a good place in my life where I can make good decisions for myself. I’m almost 3 years sober of alcohol, I’ve quit smoking, I have starting journaling and doing more art, and I even started paying attention to my self-care routine with daily moisturizers and good food. While this last one seems simple, you have to understand that I was never programmed to worry about wrinkles or care about putting sunscreen on my face before I layed in the sun. I went about my life thinking I could eat anything and it didn’t really affect me.

Even after cancer, which I’m sure was brought on by the various bad habits I had created for myself. “Whatever will be will be”, I’d tell myself.

I would read about self-care and understand the benefits, without really applying any of my learnings to my own life. You know, that takes effort.

This year, I made a life decision, not a new year’s resolution.

I shall fall in love with myself, I shall care for me as if I were my best friend.

This isn’t a given though. This is a daily decision, just like the decision I made to quit drinking which continues to be a decision I make every single day. I need to take the time and focus on me, whether it be meditation, or yoga, or a good smoothie, or putting on foundation and mascara which I only recently started doing. I never wore makeup, I always felt like I didn’t have that urge in me, but now I do it sometimes JUST FOR ME. I look cute when my lashes are longer, and my skin is even. I look cute without it, I’m sure, but this is all part of me learning to love me. I am making decisions daily that help me be a better me for me. That’s my new habit in 2019.

I’m 15 days in and I have the rest of my life to practice : )

What have you done for you today?

MarMar xo

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